This person was upset because they realized, after the fact, that on the day of the wedding, they had become swept up in the chaos. They spent the day worrying about all of the stuff that could and did go wrong, and they ended up being being mentally and emotionally absent for all the things that really mattered. Seeing the images of the wedding, seeing the joy and beauty of that day, appears to have really hit them hard.
I didn’t know how to comfort this person. All I could do was listen.
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When you spend a lot of time participating in wedding days, you learn how to deal with the occasional stresses. Last weekend, the zipper in a bridesmaid’s dress separated from the dress. Someone had to literally sew the young lady into her dress. This caused quite a delay in the pre-ceremony schedule. Over the years, we’ve had family members show up late. Diamonds have fallen out of wedding rings (Ok, that was REALLY stressful). We’ve had the air-conditioning fail during summer receptions. Catering vans have broken down and arrived two hours after dinner was scheduled to be served. We even had a wedding coordinator quit right before a ceremony.
These things happen. Like they say, if it can, it will.
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If you’re getting married soon, or you’re helping someone plan a wedding, I’m writing this for you. Most of my clients have never gotten married before, so they have no reference. Everything about planning and actually getting married is a new experience. It’s natural that they feel some amount of anxiety.
Just don’t worry if things don’t go to plan. They never do. And in the months and years after the wedding, none of that will matter. Be alive in the moment. Take everything in. Try to hold on to that first glimpse of your wife coming up the aisle. Remember the look in your husband’s eyes. Kiss your dad and hug him. Spend a moment with your grandmother and let her know how thrilled you are that she’s there with you. Dance with your daughter, and know that she loves you so much.
Hold on to these good things, and have no regrets.